[Marmida.org: Dots!] Documentia ala Michael Armida

Hilarious Hurt

I threw my back out two days ago. This is the first time I've ever experienced this.

I think the details are pathetically hilarious. I was doing my morning post-shower mirror dance, and was about to deliver a payload of hair product to the back of my head, when the stretch of my arm, shoulder, and back erupted into sharp pain.

That's right, the physical effort of lifting less than an ounce of hair product to my head killed a muscle in my back.

I have just realized it's probably not a coincidence that the strain occurred in the same spot that I develop huge knots and soreness because of extended computer use. That is to say, I'm blatantly retarded for not noticing this earlier.

Thus I go on my first journey to the doctor with an old man complaint. I feel like this is a rite of passage into a land of Ben Gay and heat packs.

Reasons why I'm old

I don't send 250 text messages a day.
My car is nearly paid off.
I'm about to enter my last year of my twenties.

Carnage

What you can do with roughly $800 and four weeks of prep

Jesus. Next time maybe I'll get to talk to somebody.

Complaints Re: Dating Website Questionnaires

A Friend: it's just the questions they make you answer
A Friend: and shit
Me: Are you awesome? So awesome.
Me: Really? For serious.
Me: Have you ever revived dead babies? In the arms of their crying mothers. Twins, even.
A Friend: haha - see they need to have questions like that
Me: How many times have you saved the president? Two and a half (he had a stroke). And that's "Mr. President."
Me: hahahhahah stroke joke
Me: commence back patting
A Friend: did you stretch first?
Me: maybe that's why my arm hurts
Me: i'm getting funny again
A Friend: yeah, patting back before properly stretching can lead to injury
Me: ok i'm posting this one in my blog

The hardest working man in mambo

While I'm not a huge fan of gigantic dance pop productions from the 50s and 60s, you have to give them credit for paving the way for many things that would become entertainment spectacles. In cruising around on youtube today, I am noticing that Perez Prado had his band do song-and-dance routines that I formerly associated only with The Godfather of Soul. It's all there: foot and hand signals to the band, dancing while conducting, synchronized horn player swaying, percussionist antics (what else do you do while playing the tambourine?), grunted commands ("¡Dilo!"), etc.

"Mambo No. 8"
"Patricia"
"Que Rico Mambo"

This is probably only to say that my image of that sort of thing is woefully out of touch with the reality of the American dance band of the era. I'm aware that in the swing orchestras of the 40s, there was always stupid choreography to be found in synchronized gimmicks opposed between the woodwinds and the brass. But I've never seen anything this early that contained so many similarities to the soul circus that was a James Brown concert. Unless these TV recordings are later than the 50s, by which time Perez Prado wasn't popular in the US anymore, these have to pre-date the JBs.

I guess my big question is this: did JB like "Patricia?"

Hard Times and the Burrito Royalty

I love Burrito King, but I don't like the one on Sunset. I have many more years' worth of good memories and many fewer bad experiences of being hassled by weirdos and creepy panhandlers and creepy panhandling weirdos at the Hyperion location. Parking in the lot isn't nearly as suicidal. I've not seen the cashier get stalked by somebody pressing his tongue against the glass at 3 am. It's just better.

I have been a loyal subject of the Burrito King since the mid 90s, when we would regularly have LAN parties at a friend's place in neighboring Atwater Village. At 3 o' clock in the morning, hung over from extended twitch gaming and sleep deprivation, we would crawl out into the summer night to get greasy food tubes before one last round of Starcraft and oh god Jimi's doing the turtle again great the sun's up you can just kill me ok?

It is with this most sincere background of concern and familial respect that you should understand I say this: I think the Mexicatessen Dynasty has fallen upon hard times.

When I last drove into the lot on Hyperion, I immediately smelled something that was not grease or refried beans. I got out of my car, and mentally verified that I was in fact smelling pot. I looked around, and almost shrugged it off, when I noticed that the royal quarters, the house at the end of the parking lot emblazoned with a yellow "BURRITO KING" backlit coat of arms, had new signage in the window. I peered a bit closer and had a laugh.

There are Rastafarians in the House of Burrito.

I'm not kidding.